Please don't use social media to get back at me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
