so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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