need another drink. this is the easiest way
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
