If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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