Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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