My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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