We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
