just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
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How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
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I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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