Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
