Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
