i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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