Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
