i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
