yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
