I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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