I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
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I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
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I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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