Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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