She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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