I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i will never coherently bang her
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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