I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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