Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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