I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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