Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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