I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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