so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
