Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
