Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize