I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
