When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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