When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
