The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
