I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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