If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
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You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have fence marks all over my body
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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