I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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