make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
