Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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