how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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