well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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