I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
