HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
