its not stalking. its research.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
