so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is wine microwaveable?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
