You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize