I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
