Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
