oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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