her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
