the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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