What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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