Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
