No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
even my farts smell like vagina
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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