I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
