She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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