This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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