I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
