We're facebook friends in real life
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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