people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
do herpes really smell.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
