Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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