? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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