Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
