So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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