The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
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it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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